Relax it’s just the end of a Yoga Session
So for those of you who are unaware this outspoken and somewhat overly critical Gentleman Traveller is also a Yogi….well we all have places where we need to relax after all.
Yes I started practising yoga during my time in Los Angeles, where I admit I started doing it for all the wrong reasons.
Yes, I didn’t go there in the start to open my body and mind and to learn of the teachings of Buddha or to learn how to breathe.
My intention was to go there to…well pick up yoga chicks, my thought process was I needed to change my strategy as the bar scene was coming up with varied results. So, I thought where do women go…then it hit me…attractive women with amazing bodies go to yoga.
Now boys perhaps I should now mention that girls who practise yoga, have bodies that are second only to Olympic Gymnasts. They can do things with their bodies that will make you want to get into doing yoga BIG time.
So as I was saying, I started doing yoga at the Hot 8 Yoga Studio in LA at their Studio close to Beverly Hills, and I am telling you right now that it changed my mind about yoga and opened my eyes to something that has been around for hundreds if not thousands of years.
I cannot thank the team at Hot 8 Yoga for introducing me to this world and especially, Olivia Kvitne whom was my yoga instructor putting my body through pain during our Hot Power 1 Yoga sessions. These killed me and more often than not I would be passing out due to the heat and intensive work out. But also the Yin sessions that really got my body to open up and relax.
So I will admit that in the past year or two since I left LA, my practise has suffered but that changed yesterday. I went to my first proper relaxation class in a good long time, and I loved every second of it.
Everything was going well and as I was expecting up until the final 10 minutes or so of relaxation phase of the class. There we were lying in relaxation pose (lying on our backs with our palms up and eyes closed) breathing deeply. This is when my concentration was completely and utterly shattered.
Perhaps I should also mention that in this particular class I was the only Gentleman Yogi there…and after an hour or so of Yoga you tend to get rather sweaty. This was when the yoga instructor comes over to me feet either side of my hips and reaches down to move my hips from side to side… this is fairly normal so I paid little attention to it. Until the instructor says the following directly after having straddled me and touched my hips and I quote:
“Now continue taking deep long breaths, release your back in to the ground, relax your chest, your genitals and relax and open your buttocks”
Now upon hearing this I have never wanted to laugh so badly in my ENTIRE LIFE….my eyes shot open and I was saying to my self did she just say that?
My mind hit rewind and played it again…Yes she actually said relax your gentiles and open your buttocks…you can surely imagine my situation.
There I am surrounded in a hot room full of beautiful women with yoga bodies…and NO this is not a dream nor was it…this actually happened not 24 hrs ago.
I have never had to hold back the giggles and act completely and utterly calm for so long in my entire life, it was torture. The session lasted for another 10 minutes after she said that one sentence…..all I was saying to my self was focus on the breath, fucking breathe man and….YES…also thinking don’t get excited came through my mind. After all the last thing I wanted then was to be supporting a massive erection (bonner or hard-on for our American cousins)…would have been rather embarrassing to put it lightly.
I have been laughing non stop since that happened just goes to show that you never know what to expect in a Yoga Studio…relaxing for the most part yes…perseverance was what I learned most of all last night, even though I wanted to do nothing more than to BURST OUT in tears of uncontrollable laughter and I nearly did on several occasions, as I am sure you can imagine.
Any way I hope this little excerpt from my life has brought a bit of humour to your lives today…Namaste