Well, ladies and gentlemen today I have decided to assault one of the words in the English language which is a favourite of certain groups of people I wasn’t sure which anagram to use so I will give you both; the FALLS (Fools, Addicts, Lairs, Lazy, Selfish) and the FAILS (Fools, Addicts, Inconsiderate, Lairs, Self-centered) as you see these have much in common with each other. These groups of people love to throw out this word as a shield to protect themselves from when they do something wrong. In fact, they use this word so much it might as well be the Zimbabwean Dollar, namely, it's lost all its value and shouldn’t be accepted as valid currency by anyone especially when it's used as part of a half-assed yet apparently sincere apology.
I have learnt my lesson as I myself am guilty of using this word, and like many of my blogs, this entry has been inspired by someone in my life. This individual likes to use this word a lot, so much so that they inspired this assault on this very unassuming word (pun intended) so there is the intro done let's get into it.
Growing up I was always to never use the word assume as it makes an ASS out of U and Me. Over time like many old sayings, this one too has lost its power completely and it's not entirely correct, after all, why should both parties bear the blame for one person’s at times asinine and foolish assumptions it is one of those things that just didn’t make sense to me. It was then when I looked at the word ASSUME in detail that I discovered that it's not a word at all it's an equation hence the title of this blog, Assume — ASS = ME/ THEM. See, the ‘u’ in assume is not a ‘u’, it's an = sign just turn it sideways, nip the tip and you will see. When I realised this it was a revelation, why should assume make an ass out of both people that's another way of the person who used the word attempting to share the blame for their actions/inactions.
The only person that should bear the blame is the party who thought that simply assuming something would be acceptable, okay, alright, fine etc…when it is very rarely if ever acceptable.
Let’s look at the typical reasoning the FALLS or FAILS groups use for why they “assumed” they could do something or in other words get away with doing something. When it relates to someone's property typically that of a friend, family member, work colleague or a teammate they think they can just use or even worse borrow something without first asking permission. They think it's easier or preferable to ask for forgiveness and get to use what they want instead of asking for permission and potentially being denied. The users of the word don’t think about the greater potential ramifications of their actions, they only think about what makes life easier for them at that moment in time. When it only takes two seconds to ask permission via a phone call or text message then simply wait a couple of minutes for a response. Unless it’s a life or death situation there is no reason not to show good manners and a little bit of patience. This is why these groups end up losing friends and the trust of those around them.
There are also the ‘do gooders’ in other words fools who just assume that they can get involved in someone else’s life without first being asked to. They do this thinking that they can solve the other person’s issues or problems with someone be it a friend, girl/boyfriend or family member. They tend to end up making things much worse when they go at it, typically setting things back by months, years or even worse making the situation completely untenable and losing the respect of both people they were trying to help. Even though their reasoning for doing so is in many ways commendable, however typically it’s their execution that is lacking especially if they have been asked not to get involved in the first place. It’s a selfish act disguised as a selfless act they typically want to do this because they believe in doing so will make their lives easier.
So ladies and gentlemen I am going to end this rant of mine here, because as I am sure you can tell that there are potentially countless examples of the people that use this word. This word “assume’ a word that is an affront to simple logic, good behaviour, decency and commonsense, so please I beg you to stop the use of this word that is an excuse for some of the worst behaviour in the world. It is used for the crimes of not thinking before acting, not taking the time to use rational thought or simply being scared of not getting the answer they want. Assume is a word used by the asinine and cowards among us the only benefit it has is to warn us of the groups of people that they belong to and to keep them at arm's distance. So the next time someone uses the word as a defence for their actions don’t tell them never to use it because it makes “ass out of u and me” just call them an ass and move on with your life. Just remember my simple equation “ASSUME — ASS = ME/THEM” because at the end of the day the only ass you want to deal with is that of your pet or that belonging to the person whose company you’re enjoying in the bedroom.